Monday, August 24, 2009

(Mostly) Happily Imperfect

I woke up this morning ready to just tackle the day. I was excited to get some things done and I was looking around the house, trying to decide which tackle would be blog-worthy. And then next thing I knew, the morning was gone and I hadn't gotten a single thing done. Not one thing!

Days like that tend to send me into a bit of a funk. I despise feeling like I've wasted a day, especially when I can't even name where the time went. I stewed about for awhile, until Eric suggested I just get a grip back on the day, make a list and start over. Great advice, right?

And I did do just that. I eventually managed to get a few things done, although not nearly as much as I had originally planned to accomplish. Yet the whole time I was working on crossing things of this new to-do list, I kept thinking about how this is a somewhat common occurrence for me. It's a flaw of mine. I know it.

And actually, I'm okay with that. As someone who spent way too many years attempting to be perfect and do it all, assuming that the only way to truly be a good wife and mother was to do everything, saying that feels like an accomplishment. I have flaws. Lots and lots of them actually. I've finally come to a point in my life where I'm willing to own them. Some of them require work and I long to get better at them, if not get rid of them altogether. Yet I'm also willing to admit I'll have some of these flaws all my life. And I'm okay with that too.

I could list hundreds of flaws. But I'm going to limit it to my Top Ten.

  1. I'm not very good at keeping the house clean. I can tidy with the best of 'em, but actually scrubbing and cleaning and dusting and shining just doesn't happen all that often.
  2. My sense of follow-through is SORELY lacking! I love creating new schedules, envisioning the organized house and well-behaved children that will result, and putting it into action. Until about 2 days later. I so want to combat this and find a system that truly works for me and that I can stick to. I'd love to surprise myself (and Eric) by proving that I really can stick with a plan for more than a few days. At least I'm willing to keep trying...and trying...and trying. (I gotta tell you, it feels good to know I'm not the only one that struggles with organization. Check out this awesome resource list Amy put together.)
  3. I lack self-control. I can not make a batch of cookies without sampling at least a few (dozen). If there is hot coffee within a 10 mile radius of me, I have to have some. I must sample any candy that comes into our house. You get the picture, right?
  4. I don't put the new toilet paper roll on the holder. I set it on the counter instead. Inevitably it ends up on the roll, but not because I put it there. This used to baffle Eric. He doesn't even mention it anymore though. I guess it's just one of those quirks you learn to accept after a while.
  5. I don't take care of myself as much as I know I should. I rarely get enough sleep. I usually skip breakfast. I don't exercise nearly enough. I only go to the doctor's when I absolutely have to.
  6. I am a horrible verbal communicator. Some days I do just fine, but more often than not I stall and stumble my way through a conversation. I can't think and speak at the same time. It's one or the other.
  7. I stink at keeping in touch with people. I joined facebook a few months ago and was so excited to reconnect with some old friends. I sent messages and replies to everyone the first day. Since then, I've been on maybe once. Our Christmas cards from two years ago are still waiting to be mailed out. (I didn't either bother last year.) I forget to return phone calls. I rarely comment on the blogs of all my wonderful blogging buddies.
  8. I snap at my kids, and not only when they deserve it. If I've had a long day and I'm feeling stressed or frazzled, I've been known to yell. I'm not proud of this, but it is what it is. Exasperation happens.
  9. I have irrational fears when it comes to the kids' health. Just the thought of anyone throwing up is crippling. If I had my way, I'd keep us all locked in the house any time a stomach bug goes around.
  10. I act without thinking first. I do stupid things all the time. I'm not always mindful of my surroundings. Unfortunately, this seems to be a learned trait that I am passing on to a few of the kids. Except when they do it, it is way more annoying than when I do!
So there, that's something I can proudly say I tackled today, right? It's not fun to look at ourselves honestly, but it is sometimes necessary. For me, it gives a much clearer picture of areas where I need to focus on improving and areas that I can just learn to live with.

Stop by 5 Minutes For Mom to see more tackles, Oh Amanda for more Top 10 lists and Hooked On Houses for more Hooked On...


VanderbiltWife 10:25 PM  

I am ALL TEN of those things as well. It was almost painful to read!

Sarah 12:38 AM  

Number 1 and number 10 are totally me. The others are just a little me :)

Anonymous,  2:18 AM  

I could have written that entire list! Congrats for taking an honest look in the mirror.

Di 7:40 AM  

I'm with you on all but number 4. I can't stand it when the toilet paper roll isn't on.

But I felt like I wrote most of the rest of your list.

You are not alone.

Marc, Sarah, and Luke 9:13 AM  

I think you and I have some a few things in common. As I was reading your list, I was thinking, "Wow -- that's me." But, we're not perfect. Only one perfect "person" walked the face of this earth, and that was Jesus Christ. And, He was God....SOOOOO...Where does that leave us? It leaves us striving to be more and more Christ-like each day throughout our lives. And, little by little, His light will shine through us to others :) O.K., I'm rambling a bit. I hope it all makes sense. Thanks for your honest post. I just found your blog several weeks ago, and I have enjoyed reading it.

Annie 9:21 AM  

I've been a lurker for quite a while now and I had to comment today. I can so relate to the day getting away from you. Our house had one of those days yesterday too. Thanks for your honesty. I struggle with lots of those things too.

cooking like a frugalite 9:57 AM  

You just sang my song. I am the exact same way.

Carrie 10:45 AM  

umm you just wrote my list! And I have not accomplished anything today either. uggg I really should go do something!

Christy 10:53 AM  

I can totally relate to some of your list! Have a great day!

Stefany 11:00 AM  

I too can relate to some of your list. That is what makes us human. Wear those flaws with PRIDE. :)

Lauren at Big Easy Mom 1:20 PM  

I can really relate to most of your 10. I'm working hard on #8 because its just not fair to my boys when I snap out of frustration or stress. Maybe next week you should write your 10 best traits - just to balance it out and make sure you're feeling your worth! Thanks for being so honest and open!

Sheila 1:37 PM  

This was very interesting to me, because for the most part, my own imperfections (and I'm not sure I could even begin to capture the essense of them in a short list of 10!) are different than yours. I think this may be part of what draws me to your blog - your strengths are my weaknesses, and I am encouraged by reading what you write. In your next list, you should write about your Top 10 strengths. I believe that you should be just as honest about those, and you might even surprise (and impress!) yourself.


MaryBeth 1:38 PM  

I've been a lurker here for a while, and now I know why.... #2,3,5,6, & 8 could have been by/about me. I've easily got 5 others that would be in my top 10 as well. Thanks for this honest post.

I love Cooking During Stolen Moments... it's my favorite food blog these days.

Stephanie 1:59 PM  

Wow, are you talking about you, or me?! I have the exact same flaws (except #4 - not putting TP back on the roll is a pet peeve of mine).

It is really hard for me to admit my flaws, but once I admit them, I start noticing them more and try to work on them. But then flaw #2 kicks in and 2 days later I am back to being my majorly flawed self!

oh amanda 2:05 PM  

Wow, it looks like you are not alone. And I'm the same way! There's always something to work and we'll NEVER be perfect!

Thanks for linking up!

Brandi 8:17 PM  

The non cleaning part is me, although I do have clutter too!

UnfinishedMom 9:49 PM  

Girl, I am right there with you on that Top Ten List. I could have written most of those plus a few more myself. Sometimes it's really good to know you're not the only one in the leaky boat.

Terry 11:19 PM  

Pardon this note from a husband/father. You must know that your man is in total awe of you. To him (and your children) your "imperfections" are just your personality. Well except for that toilet paper thing.

A Grammatical Disclaimer

I freely admit to consistently using improper grammar in the following areas:
1. I like run-on sentences.
2. I have a tendency to end sentences with a pronoun. (I really do. I can't help it.)
3. I always seem to use passive voice in my sentences. (See?)

I've been trying to break this habit, unsuccessfully, for years, so now I just accept that as my writing style, and since I'm not writing for grades anymore, I embrace it. (Again, see?)

Hence, I invoke Blogger Artistic License for this blog!

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