Tuesday, May 06, 2008

WFMW: Why Talking Doesn't Always Work For Me

The theme for this weeks edition of Works For Me Wednesday is to post about something that does not work for me. While there are many things that do not work for me, I'd have to say that talking is the one thing that consistently does not work for me.

I thoroughly enjoy people, all kinds of people. I love to listen to people talk. But, ask me to talk to one of those people, especially if it is someone I do not know, and I just can't do it. Yes, I am shy. Compulsively, debilitatingly, painfully shy! I can not "make small talk" to save my life. I don't like being this way and wish I could change. I've been trying to change for 30 years now. If I didn't want to change so badly, I would probably just give it all up as a lost cause.

As if being shy weren't enough, I also have a problem with just talking in general sometimes. I think there must be some kind of disconnect between my brain and my mouth. I occasionally need to think about what I say before I can actually get the words out, which means there is at least a 30 second pause in the conversation. It is almost like a mental stutter. It's annoying to me, especially because the harder I try to force myself to just say something, the longer it ends up taking. However, I don't think anyone gets more annoyed by this irritating trait of mine than my husband. He is a fantastic conversationalist and can carry on a conversation with anyone who will talk back to him. And there's the problem; sometimes, I just can't talk back! I am blessed in that he is usually patient and understanding. However, I know he would love it if I could just talk.

The few occasions when I am able to just talk don't always work out so well for me either. I tend to word things the wrong way so that they come out ambigously, which means 95% of the time they are taken the wrong way. I love to write and always have, and clearly I have no problems with expressing myself in this medium, but it turns out there is no backspace key for my mouth. And that really is unfortunate. No matter how hard I try, it just seems like there are always occassions where talking does NOT work for me.

My one saving grace in this is when I'm talking about something I either care about a great deal and/or know a lot about. I can talk about my husband and children all day. I can talk about cooking all day. I can talk about home organization and homeschooling all day. The words might not always come out of my mouth smoothly, but I am never lacking in them with these topics.

To find out what DOES NOT work for other people, please go visit Shannon's blog at Rocks in My Dryer.


The Happy Housewife 8:25 AM  

Well you are definitely a great writer! Maybe Friday night will help you with the talking thing ;). At least it is something you love to talk about, right! I wish I had a delay between what I was thinking and what came out of my mouth... it would probably get me in less trouble!

Niki 9:27 AM  

We are two peas in a pod!

I am embarrassingly shy, which was cutesy as a kid, and kinda dorky as a grownup.

But I can talk about my kid and how great he is all day long!

Dutchprincess 10:31 AM  

As a fellow Michigander, I was wondering if you'd be willing to send me your master monthy meal plan (with recipes if possible). Also, my DH has encouraged me to (and I listened!) put our master list in a spreadsheet. I'd be happy to send it to you to help ease the calculations of your grocery shopping.

Thanks, Vicki


Cajunchic 11:32 AM  

We sound so much alike. I am the exact same way and many people think I am snotty or moody because of it.

Jennifer 11:34 AM  

I too feel as if sometimes I don't make sense to other people when I talk. You aren't the only one with this problem!

Nancy 11:51 AM  

This isn't necessarily a bad problem. I'm the opposite. I tend to open my mouth before I think about what comes out; gets me in trouble sometimes and as you mentioned, there's no backspace / delete button!

Jane @ What About Mom? 2:21 PM  

Interesting post. I think if I could choose, I'd rather be eloquent in writing (as you are) than in speech.

I feel like I'm pretty articulate most of the time, but I actually get more incoherent the more I care about something, and often am embarrassed when I get emotional about something I'm passionate about -- kind of gets in the way of whatever logical argument I'm trying to make.

Heather 6:35 PM  

Oh thank you. Looks like we have more in common--I am the same way. When I get super comfortable I am all right but even then I have a hard time making the words come.

Anonymous,  7:41 PM  

Great post. Sometimes talking just does not work for me either!

A Grammatical Disclaimer

I freely admit to consistently using improper grammar in the following areas:
1. I like run-on sentences.
2. I have a tendency to end sentences with a pronoun. (I really do. I can't help it.)
3. I always seem to use passive voice in my sentences. (See?)

I've been trying to break this habit, unsuccessfully, for years, so now I just accept that as my writing style, and since I'm not writing for grades anymore, I embrace it. (Again, see?)

Hence, I invoke Blogger Artistic License for this blog!

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